Life Without Social Media - Digital Detox

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This year, I completed my second-longest stint with a deactivated Facebook account, a complete 3.5 years while I write this post in July 2020. 

I have had my Facebook account since December 2009 which apparently was created by my college friend Alok who couldn't see me as the only person without a Facebook account in a batch of 60 engineers :D. One day while we were sitting in the computer lab, Alok scraped my education details from LinkedIn and created a Facebook account with my name, and started adding my school mates too. For a complete month of December, Alok acted as Chetan on Facebook until I accepted to take over the account and maintain it. I had to give in before he did anything more in the name of Chetan :D though Alok was my best buddy so he wouldn't have done something funny with my account yet to be square, I took over the account. He had kept a geeky password 'Efficiency' to start with. From January to February 2010, I added all my mechanical engineering batchmates, many of my school friends from DAV and Pragati. 

And, when I saw the list increasing and number crossing 100 friends, I panicked, 

"How can Chetan have 100+ friends? I have always had a limited circle now this is getting out of hand..." 

and what not! Just the number of friends gave me goosebumps

"Why does engineering has 60+ students? Do I have to add people from other branches also who sent me Friend Request?"

I got added to class groups. Feed got full of photos of friends, I sort of didn't like Facebook after trying it for two months. And, I deactivated it at the end of Feb 2010! That's it. So, my account was active for 3 months in total including one month of Alok handling it. 

After joining IIT Delhi in July 2014, the first stupid thing that I did was that I reactivated my Facebook account after four and a half long years, the longest time away from FB. 

Then, I started accepting the fact that my friend list got 100+ friends although I unfriend-ed many of the people whom I had added during engineering. I felt glad that my M.Des batch had only 20 people :p But, my trouble with the numbers didn't end here. Seniors from IIT Delhi started sending me Friend Request and I was like..."Okay! Add them, this is going to be fine." My friend list reached 150+ which didn't bother me anymore then. But, I got in a dilemma when guys from IIT Delhi and M.Des folks from IIT Kanpur, IIT Guwahati, IIT Bombay, NID, and school batchmates from Commerce, Arts, and FMM branches too started sending me Friend Requests. 

"Man! I know them but they are not my friends! I don't even know some of them! Why are they sending me Friend Requests? Why are people being interested in me?" 

Many introvert thoughts passed my head. I remember having several unattended Friend Requests. But, like in 2009, I gave in again. I added almost everyone who sent me a request from IITs or NID. Although I did wonder why those people were not sending a LinkedIn request if they simply wanted to connect with me based on our industry. The number got 250 and then I decided that I would not let this number go past 250. That was the threshold of the friends I could see on my profile. I did not add friends beyond that and whenever someone whom I felt deserved to be on that list of 250, I would remove someone from other IIT or NID and add them instead :D

It was not anything related to those people, I knew the majority of the folks personally. One thing that I could not digest was Facebook calling every one of them my friend. I mean how! why! From childhood, I have had limited people to cherish. I always acknowledged a small number of people as my friends and Facebook was defying that. It all summed up to my Introversion. And, after completing my first semester in IIT, I deactivated my Facebook account yet again. My second time on Facebook lasted 5 months. And, this time, along with Facebook, I also deleted my WhatsApp; I felt I was getting addicted to WhatsApp, chatting a lot, seeing it again and again. So, my WhatsApp was also deleted for the complete 2nd semester. I think I have good control over myself when it comes to social media. I thought of never coming again but around the 3rd semester when placement came nearer, our placement coordinators, Sarah and Vidit told us to keep Facebook and LinkedIn updated as companies will be doing our background checks too. I was damned again! I understand LinkedIn but Facebook? Why does one has to dig into my personal life if you wish to hire me? I gave in and reactivated my Facebook account, this time making all my posts, photos public. I was a good photographer and artist. If anyone would have seen my Facebook feed would make that out easily. I clicked 100s of photos of my classmates during 1st-semester doing fun activities, trips, sketching...By that time, I had changed a lot. I had accepted many more people in my real-life's friend list, started to enjoy life, do more fun than being the serious one all the time. IIT did change me, I would say. This time I tried to stick to Facebook for a long time which apparently turned out my longest stint on Facebook from June 2015 to December 2016: One and a half years. After which I again deactivated my Facebook. Of course WhatsApp as well. I was done with social media by then. I was not on Instagram, I had a Twitter account to follow Design accounts of Google, Microsoft, Palash Sen and my then crush Alisha Chinoy but I never used Twitter. Later, I did create an Instagram account to block my username (ychetan8) but haven't used it to date though some of my friends follow me there. Since the creation of my Facebook account, it was used for barely 1.5 years while remaining deactivated for 8 years.

Unlike Facebook, I had kept WhatsApp strictly for close personal circle, never gave my phone number to people easily. When a non-friend or family person would message on WhatsApp, I would tell him to use SMS or Email for written communication, not WhatsApp. Didn't like being part of college groups where a lot of random chats would happen. I was quite strict back then but I have changed now haha.

I reactivated WhatsApp after 6 months again. I would use WhatsApp for 6 months and deactivate it again for 6 months until my brother went to the US in 2018 because WhatsApp seems the only efficient way with which I could connect with him whenever I wanted. Perhaps, I am going to stay with WhatsApp until Facebook ruins it by making it another Facebook.

Facebook in its original format has died, I believe. Fewer people use it. People have moved on to Instagram. Although, some people, unfortunately, moved to LinkedIn and now making it another Facebook. Even LinkedIn scared me recently when a girl from my office building kept stalking me and made different colleagues of hers send LinkedIn requests to me. I got scared to the extent that I don't accept LinkedIn requests from anyone in her organization.

For a person like me who likes to keep a smaller circle,  and doesn't care about sharing personal details or getting appreciation(likes), FB, Insta doesn't make sense (for now, at least).

"Bhai, maine ek photo dala, chal like kar jaldi," 

Was the common phrase my friends in the hostel used when they uploaded a sketch asking others to 'like' it. Lol! Human behaviour is a good subject to study. Why do we strive to get attention, appreciation, recognition, rewards, social acceptance...

There have been a few times when I too end up posting photos of my sketches, paragraphs from books I was reading on the WhatsApp status but while I write this today, I think I am done with that too. I rarely feel the urge to update my profile photo, share my sketches or books. Oh! but I do sometimes feel the urge to upload a video of me singing and playing the ukulele to show my friends that I am a decent ukulele player now from someone who couldn't play any musical instrument...But, perhaps I shall let this pass too. There are times when I feel I have crossed that line of maturity and sometimes I feel I am still in school. Let's blame human behaviour :D

While finishing this article, I have permanently deleted my FB account that was lying deactivated for the last three and a half years although it didn't matter given the amount of time that has passed. And, I have realized that I don't need FB given I am in touch with all people via call or WhatsApp.

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Related articles on this blog:
When Is Your Birthday, Chetan?
Stranger Friends
Stranger Friends: Chapter II